contravene loyal ties

ph. Erez Avissar

Definitely feeling this new Crystal Castles album. 

And this video for 'the plague' is probably a GREAT representation of what the inside of my mind looks like or at least how I feel a lot of the times. Sometimes you just have to fucking lose it. Scream it out. The more you try to hold it together, hold it all in, put a band-aide over your problems and call it good, you are eventually going to break. No one can keep it together all the time and I've been learning this the hard way. I've been learning that sometimes you DO have to reach out to people, they may not reach back the way you want them to or tell you things you want to hear or in the way you want to hear it but also you can't do it all alone. Yet there has to be this balance, you can't solely depend on other people for this comfort, peace of mind, validation, whatever it may be you are looking for, you also have to do it for yourself and realize for yourself that things can get better and sometimes it's okay to cry and explode. We are only human after all, even though we'd like to think otherwise. 

I love how this lyrics is continually repeated. 

"I am the plague"

Everyone does it to themselves at some point. Blame it all on themselves. They are the plague, they are the reason all of this is happening, if they weren't in the equation things would be better for everyone.