NOTE: this may be the most dramatic post that Drowning In The Flame has ever had.
I have had what they call a change of heart...
I think at the end of summer I am taking a break from photography. I am no longer inspired and nor am I having fun. I hate every photograph I take these days. Maybe I just need a swift kick in the ass or maybe a change of scenery, but right now I am not feeling the vibe and probably should take a break before I completely burnout and never want to pick up a camera again.
The possible exhibit in NYC and London (*crossing fingers*) could be my last hoorah. Who knows...
I don't know where this will lead me but for now I am just going to rest and figure things out. Piece by piece.
3 comments:
although i was never close to being as amazing as you, that's what college did to me. it sucked the fun right out of photography.
and i'm sort of in a rut as well. after these improv classes end, i have no clue what i'm going to do. AND our lease is up at the end of next month...do i want to live in chicago or move?! decisions decisions..
i like your last line,
don't know...
rest...
figure things out...
piece by piece...
I think what you're going through is something all photographers go through, all artists really. But this could be good for you. This could give you a breather, and after no thought of anything serious something great will happen and will transform your entire idea of what photography is. That's the great thing about it. Anyone can technically do it, but it's those that strive for more that end up doing great things for the name of photography.
Do you read theory or literature on it? Sometimes that helps me come up with new ideas. Research on entirely random things can create a new theme for you, creating different layers that can help the process.
But I definitely give myself a break, generally during time when I'm out of school (which is now forever, but generally summertime) where I don't make myself bring a camera around until my photographic mind begs for it. I also enjoy challenging myself, going from an art photographer who avoided human presence to wanting to work on portraiture. Kicks my ass and requires a whole new way of looking at things. Maybe you need to introduce a different kind of camera, like a large format that requires meditation on what it is you want to shoot, makes it all the more important to hash every detail out, as well as being a new technology/motion to master.
I don't think you should give it up. You've enjoyed it so much, you've spent so much time on it how can you give it up now? Everyone hates a photograph now and again. I'm sure you've been to exhibits of "big, great photographer men" and I bet you'll remember how many contact sheets were shown to give the extent of how much these guys shot, and how few images they really wanted in the end.
Or, maybe you need to be able to bounce ideas off people, do you have friends willing to talk in person? You know you've got some of us online. I currently have this idea I decided to blather on about last weekend whilst drunk. Ha!
Good luck no matter what you choose.
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