dicks, semen and human centipedes

photos by me, obviously

Here are parts of the interview I did with Turbo Fruits that didn't appear on Popwreckoning.

Very interesting, I think...

Maybe I shouldn't be interviewing bands. There goes my dream of being a VJ on MTV. Wait, do those even exist anymore? I think Sway is still hanging on in there...

Has anyone tired to have you guys sign their boob or ass?

Matt: Well I sign Jona’s dick.

Really? And how is that for you?

Matt: Well it’s a pretty regular deal.

So everyday he just whips it out and goes “here’s my dick, sign it?”

Jonas: Yeah, we have a metallic sharpie…

Matt: We have a silver pen for Echo Kid, we don’t get a lot of people wanting albums signed, but I sign a lot of Jonas’s dick.

Silver sharpie, eh? How elegant.

Dave: Yeah, and you hold the pen with your teeth

When you were kids, what did you want to be?

(okay, shut up, I know this isn't risque...)

Jonas: Superman

Dave: A motherfucking hustler

Matt: I don’t know, a fireman or a doctor

Watching too much ER back then, weren't you?

I take that you guys aren’t easily grossed out so I am going to ask this question… Have you heard of the disease lymphatic filariasis?

Jonas: No

Dave: Yes, of course, who hasn’t heard of it?

Then what is it?

Dave: It’s when Matt opens his mouth and throws up semen.

Well, I guess it’s kind of close to that. It's where parasitic worms burrow into you lymph nodes and can make your balls swell to the size of watermelons, forcing you to basically tote them around in a wheelbarrow.

Matt: I just want to say for the record, if I ever cough up semen, it would be Dave’s dad semen.

If you were reincarnated as some other plant or animal, what would it be and why?

Jonas: I would say a hyena because they are fucking scavengers, man. We are all scavengers.

Dave: I would be a motherfuckin' bald eagle. I would scratch fucking French people’s faces off. Grab their fucking baguette and disembowel them.

Kingsley: I would probably be a sloth. Stoned and slow.

Matt????

Jonas: Matt would be a gerbil so he could go up dudes asses.

Matt: I would be a gerbil so I could go up Dave dad’s asshole.

Who would you go gay for?

Matt: Dave’s dad

Jonas: Harrison Ford

Why?

Jonas: It’s Harrison fucking Ford, Han Solo, man.

Kingsley: Dave’s dad

Dave’s dad is a hot topic.

Dave: He’s a badass

Matt: If I could, I would spend 8 of the 12 months touring and spend the other 4 with Dave’s dad...

Dave: I would graph Matt’s face to my asshole and start the human centipede with him.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

Jonas: I would say watching King give Dave a blowjob. Like we love it in the moment

, then the next morning we are like “why?” Why did we just watch King give Dave a blowjob? Why did we enjoy it so much?

Matt: I guess my guiltiest pleasure would be getting head from Dave. He uses his teeth sometimes, but if you just stroke his head, he relaxes just a bit.

Words of wisdom? Something for the kids.

Dave: Life’s a bitch and then you die.

Jonas: Go to the Replay Lounge in Lawrence, KS

Kingsley: Smoke weed everyday

Okay, so does anyone have torrent link for The Human Centipede? It's definitely not available on Netflix.

Alright, NOW I am officially on a little hiatus. And for the three people that comment on this blog, I will still be reading your comments and sometimes replying back.

it's going to be another heavy day

hell yesss!

(NOTE: you can buy them at their shows now!)

a tiny kingdom at the bottoms of the trees

THE NOVEL... (and slightly redundant post)

Alright, other things going on at the moment seems like one big hot mess of stress when I look at the whole picture (my meditation and yoga sessions are getting longer everyday.) One could say I am a bit of a workaholic, extremist, perfectionist and take on too many projects at once. I need to be constantly doing things.

Anyways, this fall there are a lot of things going on. Mainly and most importantly is the solo photography exhibit I am doing while I am back in NYC this September. This may be the hardest thing (besides my 10 day master cleanse) I've done all year. I'd rather continue writing essays for my artists grant than try to come up with a cohesive collection of photographs, titling them and pricing them?! Pshhhh. And since I don't want to spend unnecessary money (aka I'm a cheap bastard), I am "DJing" myself. As for the booze, I really want to make it a classy event and buy some boxes of Franzia wine. Jokes, not really, but yeah...

Then, I am going back to school this fall to finish my majors in Psychology and Globalization. I am taking all my courses online, so I am still able to travel. It's going to suck having to pack textbooks in my suitcase.

Next, there is planning for this possible Europe trip this winter. If anyone knows any cool galleries or spaces in London, preferably in the Shoreditch area or maybe even Chelsea or Soho, PLEASE email soon, I have a week to find a place. And get an invitation letter from a gallery or some sort of artist workshop to show my work there. Oy to the vey.

Now, I know festival season is ages away, but when you do not have a proper job, you have to start planning and saving now if you plan on going to any. I will probably be at CMJ this year, but CMJ really isn't a festival, you know what I mean? So, I may pass and save that money for something else. UNLESS, The Maccabees play.

Then there is choosing between SXSW or Coachella. Since Coachella is a tradition (I've been going since I was 18) I know I am definitely going and then chilling in LA for bit after. And I don't know about SXSW, seeing how this year was such a suck fest compared to last year, and my partner in crime Jade may not go, I probably won't go either. Who else am I suppose to drink Jameson with, remain in a constant state of drunkeness, getting locked out of the apartment we were staying at and sleeping on the porch, sleeping on the kitchen floor because you couldn't be bothered to make it to the couch, missing shows we were suppose to cover, seeing Dan Auerbach play at 3am in someone's backyard and getting a busted lip from him accidentally hitting me with the head of his guitar, and last but not least, seeing all our friends bands play.

This year, as mentioned in a past post on my thoughts of SXSW, we spent most of our time seeing the same bands over and over and over again, hardly leaving the hotel room, eating Chinese food, drinking Jameson, wondering why everyone but us met Bill Murray, listening to The White Stripes, and stalking Sean Lennon (wait what?) And I even went as far as trying to change my flight so I could leave earlier. Dramatic, I know, but being really ill and not having any fun makes you do desperate things.

Let's compare last year to this years in a series of photographs.

Last year:

Jade and I had to get some supplies.

(BTW, hi Mother! Apparently my Mother reads my blog now. Apologies in advance!)

Crocodiles man love

Heather takes photos, she doesn't like having her photo taken.

word.

bad kids.

Leia and I

Ryan and Greg (The Strange Boys)

JAKE!! All you need to know about Jake is that he rules. He's the older brother I never had.

Miss Ana Calderon

Every morning was brutal that week.

Jimmy Johns is mah joint.

Jade and I obviously inebriated.

Malia James (photographer, friend, bass player for Marnie Stern that year)

Kyle and I

Dan Auerbach 3am crazily amazing show, someone stole my polaroid camera but not the film that was in my bag or my wallet. Wanker.

Jonathan (Delta Spirit) and I

The Vajayjay's (aka Marnie Stern & Co.)

This year: I hardly remember taking many photos this year. My saving graces were Darker My Love, Malia, Jade, Heather and Nadia.

Will (Darker My Love) & Malia

Tim (Darker My Love)

Jade and I went to that hitRECord presentation that Joseph Gordon-Levitt started to escape the cold. If you were there, then you remember there was that one day it was like 45 degrees out and no one was prepared and you saw people walking around in their bathrobes.

ALSO, am I the only girl that didn't "like totally love" 500 Days of Summer? It was alright, I guess. I would watch it again on HBO as background noise. Now, this doesn't mean I don't think that JGL isn't swoon worthy.

Jack and Coke to stay warm.

The last day and so fucking ready to go. I had all my shit packed and in the car the night before and my flight wasn't until late afternoon.

Seriously, to those that read all my nonsense deserve a cupcake or something.

trying to colour in between the dotted lines

Soooo, I am taking another hiatus. There is so much to do and so little time and I really need to focus and get organized. If you need to contact me you can:

1. Email me/Facebook me

2. Call me old fashion, but there is this thing called a phone that you can use as well, just dial hell and I'll answer

3. Send a pigeon carrier, preferably named Mordeci

So I am going to give a scattered rundown of what's going on in the shit storm that is the world of Patrice. You know, projects, what I'm reading, watching, listening to, and other vibezzz. Get your reading glasses on, because this is going to be a long post. I think I am going to break it down into two posts since there is SO MUCH random shit going on and I've been getting nostalgic on things, you know how it goes...

Recently, I did an interview with Turbo Fruits for Popwreckoning (which I am now contributing to.)

photo by: me

It was interesting to say the least. I was quite nervous, being that it was my first proper interview with a band. The band were troopers answering my bizarre questions. You can read the edited down version on Popwreckoning. Later, I'll post the things that were to risque to include in the interview. I'll post it tomorrow, so I guess my hiatus doesn't begin until Sunday...

JEFF the brotherhood's 7" Mellow Out is now available on iTunes and you can order the vinyl online as well (psssst, get the glow in the dark one, duhhh.)

They are using my one of my photos as the cover.

photo by: me

And isn't it genius that Beach Fossils are all wearing Lady GaGa shirts? I know I had a laugh. You can read my review of their show in Lawrence, KS on Popwreckoning.

photo by: me

Next week, I have the pleasure of interviewing and photographing the lovely boys of of Tokyo Police Club. I feel so nostalgic about this band. The days of X's on your hands from being underage and sneaking into 21+ venues. 2007 seems like ages ago when I first saw them with Cold War Kids, everyone was just babies. It's always interesting to watch a band grow as you grow yourself. Now we are all adults. Craziness. Okay, I am done with this little Hallmark moment.

Photos taken by me with a disposable camera (the wave of the future I tell you!) from Coachella this year at some house party in Palm Springs.

say no to love

Things I am into at the moment:

(yeah, there's a lot of videos in this post)

FOALS - "This Orient"

cool video.

AND just because I can't get enough of this video or song

FOALS - "Spanish Sahara"

I may be just a WEE bit excited to see them in Chicago this fall. I honestly think they are one of the best current bands to see live. If you ever get the chance to see them live, DO IT! You won't regret it, you'll have so much fun and want more after and be dripping in sweat because it'll most likely turn into a major dance party, who doesn't love dance parties?

Especially once the play this jam.

FOALS - "Cassius"

Another English band I am excited to see whilst back in NY is Mystery Jets!

Mystery Jets - "Serotonin"

Mystery Jets - "Dreaming of Another World"

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - "Say No To Love"

Isn't this band most adorable?

Best Coast - "When I'm With You"

Seriously though, who doesn't love this band?

Kemp Muhl on the cover of Oyster Magazine (totally yanked this from BreannaLee)

I'm telling you, some girls have all the luck. Does she really need to be so pretty all the time?

AND

I am loving the new Marc Jacobs Fall campaigns photographed by Juergen Teller, of course.

Movies I've watched recently:

-INCEPTION (so good, Cillian Murphy = girl boner and of course Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

-The Runaways (don't you judge me)

-Vivre Sa Vie

-Network

-Alphaville

-Frontier of the Dawn (a bit dramatic but who can resist the beautiful Louis Garrel)

-Paris, Texas

-Scenes From A Marriage

-The Battle of Algiers

-8 1/2

-Brazil

Currently Reading:

(I've lost track on the book a week project...)

Still reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck. Once I finish that, I will FINALLY try and finish Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy.

we're on two wheels, baby

photo: Harley Viera-Newton's FB

I want a bicycle gang. That's all.

rest yourself, rest your head

photo: unknown

don't let go, just breathe slow

so hold on, it will pass

don't give up, don't let go

grey clouds, they'll break up

rest yourself, rest your head

be still, play dead

forget all the rest

free yourself, free your head

don't shy away

open your veins

and wait until the rain goes

2 Trees- FOALS